Turtle

Motionless. Totally silent. Lonely. Laying in a dark corner. Face and legs within her shell. Nothing to look up to. Almost dead.

I pick her up in my hands. Her face wrinkled, eyes almost shut. She looks old, sad, and depressed. Wonder why she's wasting her life in that corner. What's the meaning of your life? What are you up to? You're not even moving around. Hardly eating. Escaping the world? hiding in your own shell.

She starts reaching out with her long neck, moves her legs and tail. Why? Why do you feel safe in my hands? Almost swimming in the air. Maybe she's in the wrong environment. I submerge her in some water. She lays there for a while, then stands up, raises her shell. Looks like a little dinosaur. Didn't seem she had it in her. Seemed so helpless. She starts moving around, gets out of the water. She's fast. Just never showed it. Wasn't interested to move. Wasn't motivated to move. Had no point in moving. Developed that thick shell which protected her. Now, she's moving around, revitalized, discovering her new environment, sneaking around the edges of the table, careful not to fall over. She discovers the new area she's now a part of. Realized the change in her life.

She found a dark little corner. Moved to it. Retracted her head and legs. Laid back, silent and motionless again. Ready to spend the rest of her life there.

Phone Call

God is my best friend. Its all about love. Do whatever in life, do it well and it ought to be with the intention of pleasing God. That should be the ultimate goal. Whatever you do in life is of no real value as long as its not tied to the ultimate goal. Setting aside the relationship to God, isn't that somewhat similar to Nihilism? where nothing has any meaning on its own. No, Nihilism is very negative and loose, but this is positive and well-tied up to a goal. Modern philosophy places the individual to be the divine being, when in fact he might be, but only in relationship to a higher divine being.

So the answer to the big question of why we're created would be? to worship Allah.

So how did it all start? Traditionally agnostic, I felt God's presence strongly. Realized that I'm not just a body, but I have a soul, felt that He's indeed my best friend. Had a dream of someone calling my name, asked God for guidance. I realized God before finding Islam.

The aim is not to lose sight of the real goal, its not the task at hand, its what beyond that task. So be passionate about what you do, but learn to detach from worldly matters. They matter, but they're not the real matter. Know that the output is not in your hands, and as long as you're not doing it for your own ego, then the output doesn't matter.

Depressions now take on a different form. Maybe the reasons are still worldly ones, but its an indication of the increasing distance away from God. Get closer. How? Remeberence. Humbling the ego. Having the right intentions. Practice.