Saturday, June 25, 2005

Divorce diaries

Hilarious outing. Thursday night, I finish work and pick up my constantly-in-a-divorce-state friend to go out for dinner. He starts complaining about his wife, and describes this long fight with his mother-in-law that ended in a demand for divorce. I think this is like the 70th time or something. His usual dilemma; he'd like to divorce her yesterday before tomorrow, but he'd also like to keep the little girl. Which ofcourse he knows that it will most likely not happen.

Another friend of mine calls me while I'm listening to the latest divorce story. I told her, hey, I'm bringing my friend and coming over to meet you. Both are cool friends, so they were okay in meeting for the first time. Although she was abit worried about meeting a constantly-in-a-divorce-state guy who will probably be depressed, and turn it into a lousy outing, but I knew it would be fun. I only urged my friend to watch his mouth and avoid any foul language infront of the lady.

So we all meet at this Pizza place, which I find nothing good about and don't know why everyone thinks so highly of (both the food and the seating are bad)! I order a large pizza to finish it on my own, and my friend who had a quick dinner at home, orders a medium one. The femme just goes for tonic water. A beauty and two beasts basically. Then they roll. He tells his endless stories about his marriage, and how his wife cannot sleep at night without having a good fight. And she, analyzes him and his parents and his wife and her parents. As long as she's agreeing with him on how his wife is wrong, then he's enjoying it, and as long as she's tough on him, he wants to tell more stories to prove how much of an angel he is. So I had to intervene (considering that I'm always siding with his wife, and he's always hating me for it), and tell the story when he was flirting with a girl and telling her that she was sexy through an SMS, and when his wife saw it and was fuming he told her that the SMS was to me! I also had to tell about his meeting with his other girlfriend in Italy when he was engaged to his wife. So then he had to tell some of my stories to prove I was crazy, like when I jumped off his car because he wouldn't let me out, and when I was fighting with them in the house in Agamy and went running out of the house with two brooms in my hand, a pj pants and a torn t-shirt and came back an hour later, and how I get off my car to curse the guys who throw flyers in your car while you're driving. I think my poor lady friend didn't know all this was coming. The guy said everything, and just stopped short of telling his intimate stories with his wife (thanks God he stopped there).

We're laughing so much, but their eyes start tearing from all the onion chopping going on in the kitchen, so we continue over at the cafe next door. Now that was comfortable, so we get more divorce stories, and our lady friend starts to think that this outing can't be real, and she must be dreaming. She asks my friend jokinly, "so how long have we known each other for?". Then he says there's one more thing she doesn't know about him, "my underwear is size 6", and we all crack. Man, even I didn't know that!

Three hours of constant fun and laughter, and he was actually truly depressed about his marriage, but totally helpless (or so he believes). Two years of a failed marriage, nothing they do works because they're not really trying hard enough and they don't trust one another anymore. He's a stubborn child and a dumb control freak, and she's selfish and insecure who always puts herself ahead of the relationship, that she'll never do what will satisfy him.

We separate at midnight, Cinderella heads home, I drop my friend at the 'ahwa to continue his night, and I head to bed. As my friend is getting out to the 'ahwa he tells me that he had lots of fun, and asks me why her and I are not together!


programmer craig said...

Divorce sucks :0

My ex and I had 5 years of good marriage and 5 years of awful marriage, for the same reasons you describe with your friends - neither one of us was trying very hard. The divorce was final a year ago and we're still... friends... I guess. Sometimes I wish we weren't even that, because divorce is something you should leave behind, I think. I dunno. It just sucks. Bad marriages suck and being divorced sucks just as much. I have no advice for people with marital problems!

Speaking of my ex-wife, though, I went out to lunch with her today and saw the strangest thing! We were walking around in old Pasadena (the trendy part) and I saw two Iranian ladies in Chador? - Whatever the black outfit is that covers everything but their faces - walking beind two tatood and pierced very affectionate lesbians and all four of them were just wandering around window shopping and enjoying the weather. We have the oddest neighborhoods in Southern California :D

Mohamed said...

I can't imagine how a couple can divorce after 10 years of being together, and especially after 5 years of a good marriage. That's pretty touch.

programmer craig said...

I think divorce is always tough! Does Egypt have high divorce rates? I admit, I have no idea... I was surprised when I heard Iran has divorce rates similar to America. I always thought conservative societies had less divorce, for some reason.

Just me, trying. said...

I think if your friend tries to be funny and affectionate to his wife as he had tried with your 'femme', he might have a better chace keeping his wife and their daughter. The problem is that after marriage the couple or one of them starts to take the other for granted. Currently, divorce stories in Egypt are many and different. We used to have good stable families in the past. Now, look to the new generation and you can judge what marriage and what types of parents we have. People have this life as thier sole life that they try to get as much as possible out of it regrdless any standrds.

muse said...

Divorce is messy with or without kids. I had been through one. I am getting married for the second round now.

The interesting thing is, when I was unhappy and thinking about divorce my friends around me were at the same situation too.(sometimes trying hard does not work. And like attracts like in friendships) Then I moved on and divorced. My friends did not. They still talk about it yet they do not take action. I suspect they do not want to. But the talk continues.

I am in a different state of mind. I know how hard it is, also know you have to move on.

Ah.. Life is hard sometimes. Yet we make it harder. I wanted to share. I loved your blog.

Cheers to Cairo from Turkey.

Houstonlaw said...

Nice blog!

Personal Injury Attorney Houston

Anonymous said...

When a divorces takes place both parties usually want to keep the child or the children in case there are more involved, or it happens that they both have more sympathy with one of the children. I think people make a fuss over this and make the problem bigger. Taking Viagra Online is the only solution to divorce thus couples will stick together.