Sunday, July 10, 2005

Everything falls in place

Everything in our lives happens for a reason, we just don't know most of them. For a long while now, I've been baffled by what's happening to me. A friend of mine mocked me a couple of weeks ago when I told her that I pray estekhara for guidance. I kept explaining to her that there is no visible result of this prayers in my opinion, but I pray and I make my logical decision after alot of analysis (being the analytical being that I am), but I feel reliefed that even if the decision seems wrong on the surface, I have done my homework from all aspects; logically analyzing, evaluating the alternatives, and asking the right people, including the All-Knowing.

I love this estekhara supplication. Allah knows and I don't know, if this thing is good for me than enable it for me and bless it, and if not, then make me not desire it anymore and keep it away from me. Its not really only related to decisions, but to everything. You pray this, and go on, doing what you think is right, if it works out than great, and if it doesn't work out and you really want it, then you try harder, but then if it doesn't work out, than maybe its not meant to be for a reason, and you should be thankful. And I keep remembering: وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكَُمْ (alBaqarah:216)

However, I've been wondering really hard during that last period if all my estekharas are working! (something that my friend found particularly amusing). It seems that I've been making so many wrong decisions over the last period, all among limited bad choices really, but still, wondered if my choices could've been slightly better.

I also wondered about other things that didn't turn to my liking. Things that I badly wanted to happen, but didn't, things that I had hoped would work out, but didn't, and I kept wondering, when will things fall in place for me?! This estekhara seems to only break things, and only the second half of it works, "if its not good for me, then don't let it work out"!

Among those is my choice to take this job that I'm quitting, where I've spent a miserable year (according to my standards). Throughout the year I was constantly thinking that I'm running out of options, and this always makes a bad situation worse.

Last night in bed, I connected the dots, and I found that everything is falling in place for me. Or could be falling in place for me. Could it be that all that was for a reason? Could it be that wanting things that didn't happen for that long was for a reason? Could it be that spending a miserable year at work was for a reason? Patience is indeed a virtue. I'm not patient, but I try when I have to, and I survive --even if in pain. It is possible. I now see a reason (potentially) for alot of things. Even that long unpleasurable year at work, might've been remarkably useful (least of which to my career, but that doesn't seem to be the most important thing now).

Even hardship (and mine was minimal thanks God) is for a reason, and what a wonderful reason it can be.

After seemingly solving my puzzle in bed last night, I jumped off bed and prayed an estekhara.


haal said...

the could(s) can be endless and we can convience ourselves with anything we want to.... There is no absolute right or wrong if you ask me, there is changing le destin a chaque carefour.

Me,Myself and I said...

This is the way i look at it--any decision i made was the right decision at the moment i made it-and even, when the expereince i go through after making that decision is not the most pleasant or exciting--there is always a good reason for it...i got something out of it..either paitence (not one of my virtues but seem to be getting more of it by age) , or meeting a nice person, or learning about a good receipe, or gotten enlightened about something, or got to know myself more...etc..funnily enough i do not really feel any regrets re decisions i made--some find it very strange, dunno, is it the prozac or is it how i view life..but it is a peaceful way of living life...

Mohamed said...

My ex always believed strongly and was fond of a Hadeeth Qudsy that says; "ana 3enda 7osn zann 3abdy bee". And indeed, God will be what I think of Him. Have confidence that He will answer your supplications, and He will.

roora said...

Yes i belive that when ever we pray estekhara and even if things sometimes appear not to be as we want it to happen but later , maybe a year later when you look back you will know that this was really good what happened to you

maybe we wouldnt change or maybe we would be far from God and not to think

because i think every thing works just too fine with me (i am talking about myself)sometimes we forget to ask and pray God to find a solution for us
so i guess the most important thing we may gain is that we learn to pray and ask Him strongly
this could be one of the best things we gain

The One said...

When I first came to north america I heard for the first time a "saying" that I truly liked. I am sure many of you have heard it by now, "God moves in mysterious ways". I think it truly and elegantly sums up the experiences of many people (including Mo's). It has been many a time that small things seem to have gone wrong for a long while, yet at then end caused you to be driven into something truly great AND important in your life. Sometimes you don't realize it though, except when (as Mo did) you sit down and try to connect the dots, and see that yes, if it weren't for those seemingly bad things that had happened to you, you wouldn't have made it here now!

Mohamed said...

I just ought to say, my puzzle fell apart, and I lost the connection between the dots which I thought explained everything. Never mind. Better luck next time.

Or maybe that last estekhara I prayed after jumping off bed on Saturday had an immediate effect.

haal said...

you have to be a real '3abd' to have things fall in place, otherwise you are just bribing.


Mohamed said...

Well, I am not a good enough 3abd, and I don't have enough money to bribe. That's why, as I said in my previous comment, my puzzle fell apart --but always hope for the best still.

Anonymous said...

I must admit that I haven't prayed this you do, but I agree in the sense that everything happens for a reason even when we do not understand. I still remember the first time I took generic viagra because it gave me lots of energy.