Thursday, July 28, 2005

Last day at work

Big sigh of relief. No regrets, just hopes. Have been planning of leaving since last October, but somehow managed to keep it going, since I had to. Big compromise that didn't really work, but I didn't have much choice. Looking forward to a new experience with much less compromise. Still unknown.

I won't think well of the time I spent here, but I've certainly learnt alot. What have I learnt? I think to myself.

I've learnt that what's a year in our lives? doesn't count for much when you lose it, but can change your life if you make good use of it. Time does go by if you just want it to.

I've learnt that I have to do what I love in order to achieve and be satisfied. Just like I have to be with whom I love. The more I compromise in that, the more I achieve less, and am less happy.

I've learnt that at times it seems like I know exactly what I want and what I love, its just very hard to get, so I just have to make the right compromise. And when I do, hope for the best.

I've learnt that compromise is part of life, yet too much compromise can hurt.

I've learnt that giving up is not an option. When you give up you lose, and no one wants to lose.

I've learnt that my career (and job) is important to me, no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise. Achievements can be done in various ways, but I'm a single-minded person and that's usually how I invest in myself. That investment is not to make money and have a higher price, but to achieve, to do something useful. That is my return on my investment, its the usefulness I convince myself of doing. Contributing to the improvement of life as much as I can.

I've learnt that a work-life balance is crucial, but work is part of life, and its exhilarating to work when you don't have to. And I miss it.

I've learnt that I've been raised to contribute through my work, and everything else is secondary. While not necessarily right, being raised like that makes thinking otherwise not seem right.

I've learnt that nothing lasts. Not the bad thing, nor the good thing. Just try to get as much good as you can. For me, its harder than normal. I'm not a lucky person in general, and things don't come that easily for me. I miss and miss and miss, even if I try hard enough, but when it works out, it just feels so good. But I know it still doesn't last.

I've learnt that I'm starting to lose my strong sense of attachment to people and to things. It was very easy to quit this job. You'd think that with age my sense of attachment would grow stronger and I'd grow more dependant on things and people I'm attached too, but no. With all the things and people I've lost over the years, I'm growing indifferent. Haven't developed a strong bond to a thing or to a person in ages. Something that I'm most certainly missing, but it makes me travel much lighter.

I've learnt that patience is a virtue, but I wish we didn't have to wait so long, and try so many things, especially when not knowing what the end would be.

I'm also learning that life is as beautiful as we make of it. We think we know what we want, we work on getting what we want, but Allah knows best.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if all what I hope for just happens, and all my not-so-successful experiences just never happened. Sounds like it would be nice. But I'm not doing that bad after all, and thanks God for all. Wouldn't know what to do without the peaks of hope I get from time to time.


haal said...

Thanks for the nice post, Mohamed.

haal said...

You will never answer me, right ya Mo?

Mohamed said...

You're welcome Haal. Its just what I think I've learnt during this last year. Not sure if it was worth it! What do you think?

ألِف said...

استقيلوا يرحمكم الله!

You have to confess that the full-time blogger in you won :-)

haal said...

ezzay moush worth it.... tab3an worth it wee nouss. But there are more worthy stuff.

Just saying Hi and thanks for you know what ;)

roora said...

hi , nive post , this is my favourite part " We think we know what we want, we work on getting what we want, but Allah knows best"
well put .

but sometimes i wonder about the last paragraph that u questioned about wondering , how would it be if all the things moved in the way we wanted , wouldnt it sound nice ?
how did you get that this was better that it didnt move like what you want and you get this settlement.? it is good for you that you have it

one last thing about doing what you love and being with who youwant , this cant be guranteed , we try and keep tryong and this is what is most important but at the end (having it or not having it is not guranteed)

Mohamed said...

Haal, about the job I didn't have much choice, so I just try to make the best out of it (after its over :). About other things, they measure up very differently and they're sure worth it.

Roora, I didn't understand your second paragraph. But I think I get what you're trying to say in general.

Alif, yes I hope Rabena yer7amny, my resignation sounds like a good move in that direction :)

Alina said...

Mohamed, this was a great post about how to make the best of the time you've lost - learn from it! I hope that a post with a similar title will soon be displayed on my blog! Good luck with the new job!

MoonLightShadow said...

I’ve always believed that trial and error is the best way to learn. Currently I’m trying to change that thought of mine. I think no problem in learning from other people’s experiences. Thank you for sharing the experience.