Monday, October 10, 2005

Separation and love

Ramadan is bringing this thought to my mind. Controlled separation results in appreciation, which is part of love. Yes, the simple separation from food and water I'm performing these days is the reason for this thought. And no, I'm not thinking that we separate from food and water, so we appreciate them and love them more, so we eat more at night. Rather, I'm thinking we're separated from food and water and hence energy, we become weak, so we're separated from God's strength, and hence we appreciate Him more. Silly maybe. But I feel that when a weak person tries to get closer to God, its not out of being self-serving exploiter of God's mercy. I think its the separation from His strength which makes the weak appreciate it, and reseeks that connection with Him. A silly thought maybe. But during the weak moments of the human being its easier to appreciate God's mercy and strength, and those are the moments which we should build upon to remember God's greatness when we think we're strong.

In Ramadan, the best thing for me is reading Quran just before breaking the fast, when I'm most exhausted and I've reached the peak of my separation of my physical sources of energy. I'm tired and weak, but I try to keep reading and reading, and its simply joyful.

I can never imagine that awesome feeling a mother must have carrying that infant in her tommy, but I think it might be another kind of a controlled separation. Does she feel any separation from her baby while its right in her body? What happens when she delivers, isn't she dead tired, yet she seeks strength and love in her newly born. That must be so awesome, I wish to feel just a portion of it by being a father. And how do fathers actually get that attached and connected to part of them which is being bred in another body. Just amazing.

That sexual separation which happens for a few days each month between couples. I think it should reignite the sexual vigor between them after that short period of controlled separation. I suppose it never happens that way really. But I like to think that this is one of the goals of that periodic sexual separation; appreciation and longing. Recreating life.