The blogging syndrome

I think everyone who blogs will admit that blogging is addictive. I won't say anything sophisticated or deep here (because that's not really me) about blogging, on how it gives a voice to the voiceless, and how freedom of speech is so great that once you get it you can't let go. But I simply think it can be summed up in this quote that I read when I was 16 and don't remember who said it: "I write to know what I think".

Going into three months of blogging now, and surprisingly, I'm still enjoying it. Its taking more and more of my time everyday. You're supposed to blog in the free time you have, but I end up doing everything else in my life in my blogging left over time! The blogger in me is certainly evolving.

There are two people who know who I am in real life (met me in person). The first, is a good friend of mine that I told her of my blog the first day I started it because I was abit excited maybe, and I tend to do stupid things when I'm excited, so I told her. At the beginning we never mentioned the blog in our conversations, but now, she calls me, keeps on laughing, and then we end up talking about the blog. I realized that I don't like mixing my blogging life with my real life. (Yes, I know you're reading this). The interesting part is that in the rare times when she comments here, she does it anonymously, while she's like the only one who knows who I am! The other person who knows me in real life is a girl I met a while ago and went out with for a few times. She was a really fine girl, and I thought that this (us) might turn into something, so I pointed her to my blog. I thought that this is the best (and fastest) way for her to get to know me. Would save us alot of time trying to figure out who I really am, and how I think (would've sure liked it the other way around too). Well, we didn't go too far before she dumped me. I doubt it was because of this blog though, but I think it was abit too soon to reveal my blogging habit. I know she's not reading this anymore (actually I don't even know if she ever did), so I should be fine. This was my best line to her about blogging: "I'm having a problem with spending too much time blogging, so you should help me; by going out with me as much as you can in order to take me away from blogging"! How dull.

As few as they are, I don't really know how many read this blog, and how many like or dislike it (those visitor statistics don't really tell). I'd like to say that I don't care, but I can't help it. I shouldn't care however, because that's not really why I'm blogging, and if I think of who reads it, I might steer my writing for a certain "audience", and I don't want that. That's not why I'm blogging. And Mona, if you're still listening (I doubt it), I still believe that thinking of blogging as a mean to reform the Middle East is taking it too far. I don't think blogging is useless however. Which doesn't mean that most of what I write isn't silly, but its not necessarily useless. Just talking is good, and letting things out is good, and communicating is even better. And sometimes this is a really good mean of communication. Communicating with people you would've never had the chance to meet. Opens up your mind really and brings you new ideas. Its communicating about interesting topics too.

It does feel good however when someone praises what you do. Another journalist whom I like reading her stuff emailed me the other day praising my blog (that was before that sex post though). I thought that was cool coming from someone that I have high regard for.

Having your own blog is not that bad (especially if you don't have many readers), but surfing the blogosphere and commenting on others' is the real killer. I mean, I'd really rather read a good book, and blog about it, then read another blog and blog about it! The most interesting blogs to me are the ones with a personal touch, even if they're political or technical or whatever. This is how blogging creates that separate new life for me. I'm even starting to know those bloggers so well its scary. I haven't met any, and I don't think its a good idea to meet any. Not because of who they are, but because it would ruin my blogging experience. I like blogging in a Black Hole.

I like to control the blog comments I write though. Its too much if I go write a comment that's longer than the author's initial post. If I have that much to write, I'll come to my blog and write about it. That'll make me satisfied, and then I won't have the urge to keep on arguing. Those comment discussions can really become an overkill. Why do many people think they have an obligation to convince those who disagree with them?! I like to say my thing and leave. Usually I'm not clear enough, so I keep explaining my point, but the best thing about blogging is I don't have to convince anyone, and I don't care if everyone disagreed with me. I'm not trying to win anyone over, and I know this will not change the world. So that makes it more comfortable and fun.