Tuesday, November 21, 2006

How to fly

I also am very possessive, I also want to be your best friend, your buddy and at the same time your lover and perfect partner. You are already my best friend and are on your way to becoming my lover. I'd like you to have all the friends in the world, best friends, close friends, but I'd like to be in a special status on a different level all together. That's not a request, that's a hope. If I'm mixed with the rest of the friends, counted with the rest of the relationships, measured with the same scale, then I'd rather be just one of them --a special friend. Yet, if I'm only a lover and partner, with a mediocre friendship then this relationship is definetely not fulfilling --to either of us.

I don't care if I'm your lover now, if you love me or not yet. I care that you can share yourself with me, all of yourself, even what you can't share with your own self. I care that you value me as a person. I care that you appreciate me and see in me what I might not see in myself. I care that you love yourself when you're with me. I care that you are comfortable and satisfied with me, believing it can last forever when you look way ahead in the future. If that all exists, then you love me, so I don't care to hear the word and get those kisses, I just care to feel that. I'd rather be your absolute best friend and life partner than just be your lover. That is what I need.

I will give you time, and allow you to be. I'm not pushing anything, and am not demanding anything. I'm just telling you my expectations, not of you, but of this relationship. I think you've been great with me, fair and respectable, honest and natural. I enjoy your sharing and trust. I think your investment so far is just fine. Investing more might scare me, making it artificial. I love it as it is and I want it to evolve as it has been. Just hoping in the direction I desire.

So today I'm loving it, and I'm loving how you are. Its just my mind leaping into the future and setting my expectation in this relationship. So I think its good to tell you now, so you know what can make me drop and what can make me fly then.


Sima3iN said...

Sweet! i just hope you remember this 25 years from now in sha2 Allah, my friend.

hoping for the dayafter said...

“So I think its good to tell you now, so you know what can make me drop and what can make me fly then.”

The commitment is hard. Sometimes “OK” doesn’t mean she can, it may only mean she wants. After the plane takes off, dropping is not even an option.